Self-Awareness and Conflict Resolution in Intimate Relationships

The most important questions in resolving a conflict between intimate partners are What am I feeling? and What am I doing to express or to drown out my feelings? The goal is to know what you are feeling because you can manage feelings if you are aware of them, but passions outside of awareness will…
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Emotional Intelligence for Lovers

If you have ever been told that you lack emotional intelligence, you should not worry. First, if this was said as a negative label by someone who wanted to assert their superiority (or put you down), then it means nothing.  Second, even if you have something to learn in this area, and most people do, then…
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How to Help Love by Responding to Negativity with Emotional Intelligence

Love definitely needs help.  Let’s admit that Love has a problem.  Conflict ends half of the marriages, sending once-loving couples to divorce court.  And these are the people who wowed each other, who exchanged sacred vows, and who often suffered for years as they tried to stay together because of the kids.  Sadly, sometimes couples…
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How to Prepare for Couples Therapy

Why should you have to prepare for couples therapy?  If you have been chewed up by years of conflict, if your heart is frozen shut by years of distance and indifference, then maybe you have no strength left to prepare for couples therapy.  For those situations, therapy is come-as-you-are.  Just come in and bring nothing but…
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The Inner Game of Job Searching

Work is a big part of our identity, and unemployment can have crush one psychologically and emotionally. Many psychological issues can be triggered by being out of a job and the efforts to find one. The need to go on interviews can prompt anxiety.  Of course, anxiety is a downward spiral that can interfere with…
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How do you get ready for the love of your life?

If you are single, and the love of your life is ahead of you, what do you need to do to help love blossom when it arrives? How do you prepare for the moment love enters your life?  When the love of your life comes, will it sweep you off your feet?  Will it last…
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If Good Advice from a Matchmaker is Hard to Follow, Then Therapy Holds the Key.

Recently, I went to a short talk given by a matchmaker, who gave great, practical advice that she said, for some reason, some of her clients had trouble following.  And in every case, from my perspective, the problem behavior is not going away, and in fact follows her clients on dates, because it is driven…
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